Loving Parent

What does it mean to become your own Loving Parent? The first step in reparenting ourselves involves recognizing the loving voice inside. Our experience shows that every adult child has love inside regardless of what the person says or believes. Love is there and it is original.

We awaken the Loving Parent inside by actively listening to what we tell ourselves about ourselves. We stop in mid-sentence if we are putting ourselves down or criticizing our thoughts or behaviors. We identify the source of the negativity which is the inner critic inside all adult children. We face this critical voice with affirmations that state who we truly are. Through reparenting ourselves, we reframe our mistakes as chances to learn or grow emotionally. This is a sign of becoming your own Loving Parent.

Another way in which we can become our own Loving Parent is to realize that we will not recover overnight. ACA recovery takes time. Even when we attend meetings, work the Steps and use the telephone, we can struggle at times. ACA is simple, but it takes a balanced effort and patience at times to make it through. We can do everything right and still wonder if we are making progress. A Loving Parent inside reminds us that we are good enough and that we are making progress.

A stumbling block in awakening our Loving Parent involves false loyalty. By reparenting ourselves, we can believe we are being disloyal to our families. We can think that talking about our lives and our needs is selfish and disloyal. Most of us were usually parented to be hypercritical and self-judging. We were taught to doubt ourselves so it became natural to believe that we are wrong, defective and uninformed. A Loving Parent asks us to think about what we have been told about ourselves. A Loving Parent supports us in breaking the loyalty to unhealthly family messages and beliefs. Affirmations are a key element is challenging our loyalty to a dysfunctional family and changing negative tapes in our heads.